SUMMARY
Originally aired: May 17, 2001
Rachel and Phoebe decide to keep their knowledge of Monica's pregnancy a secret. Joey tries to get out of filming, but can't. He only has one scene to do, but it drags on all day because the star is drunk. Ross and Phoebe find Chandler at his office and convince him to come back, one step at a time. Rachel stalls Monica, but is just about to reveal that Chandler is missing when Ross and Phoebe return with him. Joey still can't leave the set, so Rachel finds another minister, a Greek Orthodox Priest. Chandler is still a bit flighty, but then he overhears Phoebe mention Monica's pregnancy, and that brings him back to reality. Joey kidnaps the star so he can leave the set, and barely makes it to the ceremony in time. Chandler tells Monica he knows about the baby; but she tells him there is none. Unbeknown to everybody, Rachel is apparently the pregnant one.
QUOTES
Ross: Huh, this is nice.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.
Chandler: If I go home, we're gonna become the Bings!
I can't be the Bings!
Ross: What's wrong with being the Bings?
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages. They yell, they fight,
and they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and
asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: No...
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
Judy Geller: Well, he better not come by
here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress.
Nora Bing: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in
the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck
then.
Nora Bing: Honey, it isn't good luck.
Chandler: I love you, and I know about the baby.
Monica: What baby?
Chandler: Our baby.
Monica: We have a baby?
Ross: (To Chandler)We're just gonna go home and take
a shower. Now, that's not scary right?
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
Ross: I talked to Joey on the set, he hasn't heard
from him. I... I talked to Chandler's parents again.
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
Ross: No, I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. I'm pretty
sure they both think I'm interested in them.
Phoebe: Wait, do you know how you're going to stall her?
Rachel: I'll figure something out.
Phoebe: All right, good luck.
Rachel: Thanks.
Monica: Okay, so I thought we'd start with my make up and then do
my hair.
Rachel: Okay, uh, but before you do that, I... I need you to talk
to me.
Monica: About what?
Rachel: Um... I'm never gonna getting married!
Monica: Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner!
Okay, are we done with that?
Rachel: No Monica! I'm serious! Oh, maybe I should just forget about
it, become a lesbian or something.
Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have ya.
Rachel: Well, maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with
Joey.
Monica: Rachel! Are you okay?
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? Hi. Um, I have a little problem with the
schedule. See, originally, I wasn't supposed to work today, and I have this
wedding that I really have to be at. It's my best friends', and I'm officiating,
so I really can't work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We can't stop
filming just for you. It's not like it's your wedding.
Joey: I'm having surgery!
The Director: What?
Joey: Yeah, I... I just made up the stuff about the wedding because
I didn't want you to worry about me. But I'm having surgery today.
The Director: What kind of surgery?
Joey: Transplant.
The Director: But you're supposed to work on Monday.
Joey: Hair transplant.
The Director: But you're not bald.
Joey: It's not on my head.